I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
