It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
