...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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