I showed him my bush... on skype.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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