I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
