either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize