wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
