hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
