New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
