so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
