I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
