Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize