dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
