you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
