I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
