i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
