Yo dont text me then not text me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
