Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
