Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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