I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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