Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
