The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
