but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize