Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
