we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
