I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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