I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
