Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
