and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
