ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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