She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
