Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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