I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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