New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
