I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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