I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize