He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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