i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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