So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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