JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
