Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
