She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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