Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
