Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
