I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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