I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
