he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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