he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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