Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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