its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
operation harelip BJ is a go
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
