that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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