imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We got so high we made milksteak
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
