hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
