Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
