Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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