yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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