Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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