Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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