im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
