oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
