There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
someone threw a dead crab at me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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