i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
