He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
